Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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