I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
