But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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