I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
