She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
