Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
