Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
