Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
