If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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