Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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