He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
