I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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