I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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