i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
