I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
