One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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