My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
