nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
