saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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