I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
