why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
