My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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