My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
