Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
