Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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