i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
