why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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