Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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