but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My dick has a subreddit
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
