Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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