Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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