who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
