I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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