38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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