I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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