Umm I'm too high to move.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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