gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
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did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
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He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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