Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
