her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
