I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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