Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize