If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
