They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sorry about my life...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
