Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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