How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
