ADVERTISEMENT

• (424): View more from California

  you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain

  Fav 3 1190 1997

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  My friends, they love my intelligence

  Fav 2 1483 887

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

  Fav 21 6554 1017

  share tweet
  

• (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

  Fav 13 1027 3652

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind

  Fav 20 1018 6516

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

  Fav 20 4228 4873

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

  Fav 15 1150 5281

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

  Fav 3 1241 2662

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

  Fav 5 1959 1030

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

  Fav 4 1638 880

  share tweet
  

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

  Fav 5 866 504

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.

  Fav 0 916 324

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito

  Fav 1 764 397

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.

  Fav 3 694 310

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (712): View more from Iowa

  just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it

  Fav 4 558 321

  share tweet
  

Randomize