Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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(207): View more from Maine

Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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(949): View more from California

he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

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(708): View more from Illinois

We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".

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(240): View more from Maryland

He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...

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(910): View more from North Carolina

i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.

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(216): View more from Ohio

First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.

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(315): View more from New York

I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?

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