I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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