Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Houston, we have a blender
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
