a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
