HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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