Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
