I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You pole danced in your parka.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
