It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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