why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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