singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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