the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
