I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
