Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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