you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Best friends brother. Beat that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
